Exploring the Self

That night they had only a short chain between their collars. “Nice to be able to move a bit in bed.”

Jeana grinned back. “Still only one view, though.” She leaned in to give a quick kiss to her friend. “Not that Jeana is complaining.”

Marta laughed. “Only one thing on your mind, isn’t there?”

Jeana shrugged. “Jeana is a sex-slave. Jeana’s purpose is to give pleasure, and Jeana loves sex.” Each phrase came out sing-song. “Not much else is supposed to be on Jeana’s mind.” She grinned again, and ran a hand down Marta’s side. “Do you want to play with Jeana?”

“Down, girl. You really are supercharged tonight, aren’t you?”

“Jeana’s training was almost entirely on the importance of sex today. Can’t remember much; there was a lot of hypnosis, but what she does remember…” A hand slid to a private place. “And now Jeana is naked, in bed with a sexy girl. She wants to fulfill her programming.”

“I said, down, at least for the moment.” Marta carefully moved Jeana’s hand. “I…” She looked at the hurt and confused eyes of her friend. “Look, can we talk a moment? Consider it foreplay.”

Jeana smiled, and shifted so that she wasn’t pressing right against Marta. Her hands still roved, but less. “Ok. What do you want to talk about?”

Marta found her own hands moving as well. “I’m trying to think about whether I like that you want to watch me obey Brian.”

“What is there to think about? You agreed to let Master make you obey him, as did Jeana. Part of that is that Master would help you and Jeana enjoy their life. If Jeana likes to watch you obey Master, she will enjoy her life more.”

“Yeah, sure, I get that part. But yesterday you were ‘helping’ me obey him.”

“You help Jeana obey Master: You fed her, you tied her up for programming.”

“I was just doing what I was told.”

Jeana just looked at her, letting that sink in.

“Ok, you’re just doing what you are told too. But Brian was there, giving exact orders. Not just letting us play out what he’s put in our heads.”

“If Jeana brainwashed into being slave, everything in her head is an order Master put there, correct?”

“I think that’s what worries me. I… I didn’t think I would lose myself. Nor do I want to lose my best friend.”

“Do you not still remember who you were, how you came here? Jeana does. Master is not touching that.”

“And yet, you can’t say ‘I do.’ You talk as if Jeana is some other person, someone different from you.”

Jeana tried to speak, but no words came out. She waited a moment before trying again, thinking through her answer. “This slave knows she is Jeana, and will always be Jeana, your best friend. Alone, together… Jeana can even be the most important part of this slave. But Jeana never wanted…” She thought again. “Jeana wants to be just herself, but she knows she will never be just herself, with or without Master. Jeana was always somebody’s something: Child, girlfriend, slut, whore, tag. Jeana cannot escape that. Master lets Jeana acknowledge that his slave isn’t just Jeana, but also his property.”

“So you actually like talking like this?”

“It took a while to feel natural, Jeana will admit. Master’s hypnosis helped, as did today’s lesson being all in third-person. But yes, it… frees Jeana.”

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